today, has been a long fucking day. well the beginning was at least. I spent the majority of it with my boyfriend. Sleeping in his bed.because I was so upset. My bank.account is empty!!!! I'm usually amazing with money! wtf went wrong?! ugh I dunno, but I should be able to make it until Thursday... Hopefully that is. I'm just happy that Adam is an amazing person even though he likes to pretend he's an asshole.... he's actually a sweetie at heart! meh, I'm yapping about crazy things lol. Its five in the morning, I need to get some sleep... but I'm staying awake until adam wakes up for work, I get to stay here alone with his stuffed animal.and lifetime supply of movies. :) yay for being a happy girl!

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Gah

I'm glad things are going amazing between Adam and I. In the beginning he was just being a guy, but lately he's actually showing a great deal of affection. His place had a blackout tonight and he held me and told me that everything was going to be okay. :') It was the sweetest thing ever. But tonight when I go over, we're having a movie marathon, and I told him I'd stay the night and when he gets off work Sunday, I'll still be there cuddled with his teddy bear.

But what really made me laugh a good part of the day....

We had our usual 'End of the Work Week' Ihop trip, with out usual waitress Nikki. And she was my waitress when I was with Jared, and we talked about military guys. And I said I'm with a Navy guy now, I'm no longer with the other guy that I always used to come in here with. Her response?

"Huh, you two were together?! I thought he was gay! The way he looked at Justin was insane!"

Omfg. FUCK YES.

So me, my mum, Nikki, and a few other people that met him, all told me they thought he was gay, and all I could do was blush and laugh, because when I was with him people would ask if he was gay and I'd say no...I'm dating him, and I'd just get the yeah right face. But dear goodness, this morning when Nikki just came out and said that I was no good :P

Today when I wake up, Oil Change! Then seeing my main bish, Whitney, and then after that, right back to Adams for Disney movies, tons of cuddling and maybe him cooking me a meal ;)

It's been a while

and I'm sad to say
It's just Shanika, NO longer Shanika and Jared.
At times, I do sadly miss that, because when you've been with the same person for so fucking long, your lives mesh, and when you separated, what do you have left? Nothing. I don't know why he left, I wish he gave me more than just a fucking shurg. He told me that he would need time to tell me, is it that bad? did he think I'd go batshit crazy on him and smash his car? I think he cheated. I'm not crazy, and every girl does this at least for the month after a long term relationship, where we still care about him and wonder if he's doing okay (like a dumbass) I checked his facebook profile (uh, yeah, I was creepin' no lie) and I saw something that pissed me off. The girl that he claimed was a lying cheating whore, and ect. ect. ect. when we were together, is suddenly his new facebook friend.

I should have fucking realized that he was still stuck on her as much as he talked about her being this and that and how she wouldn't do this and I would and how she would do this and I wouldn't. FUCK. I stayed in a relationship that I was being compared in. No wonder things didn't work out :/ I don't really care anymore though. come to find out he was a chubby chaser and was getting upset with me because I started going to the gym... I'm sorry for thinking about my health?

Yup; that's the biggest update I have for you.


Besides I'm seeing someone new.

No. I haven't said I Love You yet.

I learned from the last idiot what saying those three words mean.

I'm obsessed!

With pin-up girls! I ♥ how adorable they are! I think its the eyeliner and the lifestyle! I ♥ the lifestyle. I think I want to fully adopt the fifties lifestyle, I think I could fit into it! If I could only find my Clinique gel eyeliner! Then I would be the happiest girl alive! I really do need to find it because I'm going to use it for my project 10 pan! :)

Ugh, I suck at making goals

I made a goal 2 hours before I broke it, Damn. I need to learn how to control myself, or better yet, control my friend who claims broke, but buys everything that she wants in the walmart that looks nice and looks like something she would want to buy...tsk tsk tsk. But, I woke up SUPER LATE! and instead of putting some makeup on to help my project 10 pan, I'm playing Cafe World on Facebook. It looks rainy, I kinda like that, So yeah, I'll get some makeup on in a few minutes, I don't even wear a lot, Most of my project 10 pan are actually things like chaptick that has been sitting around for a little bit and had been getting on my nerves looking at it. Meh

Project 10 Pan!

I actually need to start working on that! I need to take some time tomorrow and pick out the 10 products that I am going to use in this project, because oh my goodness, I have SO MANY that need to be used before I go out and buy more! I'm pretty sure this will help me save money, because almost every other weekend I find myself buying a new beauty product! I'm texting Jared and thinking about how I can save this money! Lol, maybe I can update my blog a little bit more, but gee, I don't know if I can even take the time out of my hetic week (unless I do it on friday) To make my blog super awesome like the ones that I have been looking at this weekend. But i should spend a little bit of friday looking at how to make my blog way more flashier because why not? I'll be ditched most likely if I make plans with somebody so I can spend some time working on my blog after a long crazy week at work. And I need to clean my laptop off desperately, because it does need it, needs a little dusting that is :P

I need to eat better too, but right now, I'm going to go to Taco Bell for my lunch at work because I didn't have really anything to cook here for lunch :/ meh. I can't wait for the week to end so I can have Jared here with me, that would be beyond comforting to be honest. I'm debating a birthday party, I mean, if I'm ditched so fucking much by this person, why am I going to take time out of my life to attend a party? But ugh, that's just me ranting, I know I'll go and bring a little gift to her, I just need to have a talk with her about ditching people. :/ I also need to work on my blogging, I only get on here when I'm super bored, and that's not really any good, because that means I rarely vent when I really need to! And you can't really vent via facebook because people LOVE running to somebody and telling them about it, or better yet, making a huge deal about your life and trying to tell you how to live. Wow, that was a long sentence. I guess I need to work on my grammar too.

Hmm, well, time to get ready for this crazy workweek :P

Mummy Day!

Before I start blabbing on about everything else, happy belated mothers day to all the lovely mums out there!!! (I'm staying up until 2:30 in the morning to watch family guy..) But today, Mum, I and all of the kids went to Busch Gardens!! It was super fun :) Mum talked me into buying a two year pass (and now i'm talking jared into buying one too) I think It will be pretty awesome, instead of paying the usual 50ish dollars every time I want to go to the park! But my sister went with us dressed pretty well... A lot of older guys were turning their heads and nearly breaking their necks to see what she was walking with on...Very exposing.. And mum and I were pretty embarassed.

But this weekend, I think I'm more upset than usual...I feel like anxiety is getting the best of me..like really... Jared had to leave a little early because it was his mums birthday party and well, backstory, Jareds uncle doesn't believe in interracial relationships, and well, I believe he just doesn't like me, so really, when its family events that Jared is atteneding, I just don't go, I don't like being annoyed by assholes who are extremely close minded. So mum was like come with us! But, my anxiety, when he left, I wanted to cry, I felt alone even though I was in the house full of people! So now, I just keep thinking about him and its keeping me wide awake, But yes, the reason I'm wide awake, I work night shifts, so ya..I don't sleep til 3ish-4ish, which doesn't bother me, I get to watch the late night funnies! I just feel like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest right now! Ugh! I hate that feeling!!!!

I sorry

I pinky promise I'll do better with blogging on her than I have been for a while. But I have been thinking of nifty ideas that would save me money! One was the ten pan project (sounds silly but I LOVE buying makeup!!) basically, before I can buy myself some new makeup, I have to completely use ten products up before I can spend more money on another, and I picked items that would take forever! So yep, I plan on starting that!

One thing I absolutely cannot stand is drama, especially when its in the workplace more than anywhere else, the whole week has been plain drama, not loud drama, but basically everybody was stressing out because they heard a dirty rumour about them, and its sad that people get to the point of have nothing better to do so they go out and spreat rumours about you, its kinda like grow up, really? do you not have anything better to do? Well, obviously not, because the rumour about is that I am a raging fat lesbian.. Even though I'm just chubby and I'm very much with a guy. (this time he's actually a sweetheart and not an asshole like the others)

I had lunch plans, but they were just cancelled so yeah, I guess I'll work on my blog, I know nobody really looks at it :P

Meh.