Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
A New Outlook On Life
This whole weekend has finally given me time to think about everything that has gone on. Friendships being broken, or halfway broken, i'm still confused. A boyfriend thats there no matter what.
But basically, I finally figured out life isnt easy squeezy easy.
I need a new outlook on life for myself. Maybe become a little more feminine; ya know, dresses, makeup, shoes. I've always realised i fit in with the boys way more than what I do with the gals! But, the problem is: I dont know how to fit in with girls....
I started watching tons o makeup vids on youtube and I think I could get a good grasp of this, which means i'd have to wake up earlier in the day than what I usually do. oh dear.
But basically, I finally figured out life isnt easy squeezy easy.
I need a new outlook on life for myself. Maybe become a little more feminine; ya know, dresses, makeup, shoes. I've always realised i fit in with the boys way more than what I do with the gals! But, the problem is: I dont know how to fit in with girls....
I started watching tons o makeup vids on youtube and I think I could get a good grasp of this, which means i'd have to wake up earlier in the day than what I usually do. oh dear.
Sometimes a Fun Weekend can be turned into total Hell.
So, this weekend, starting on friday morning, I thought was going to be a great day, ya know, go to my doc. appointment and spend time with jared and elsie, WRONG, absofuckin'lutely wrong. in under 10 minutes, it turned into the worst weekend of my fucking life.
It started when Jared and I walked into Elsies, (btw, Jared is my bf) and I spoke to her, and she was SUPER quiet, like bitchy quiet, i knew from the get-go it wasnt going to be pretty, but not like it ended up being. So about 10 minutes of awkward silence, she finally says, 'you look like you need to go home' after telling me to crash there with her to relax, fuck it. So I get slightly frustrated and realized, she wants me to leave because of jared, but I figured that she only wanted Jared to leave because she asked him, did she drive or did both of you drive, and well, if he left, I was leaving too, I didnt want to make him feel super awkward there, ya know? Well, so we left, and he kinda realized I was tense and slightly agitated, so he says, lets go eat. So we dropped my car off at his place, And i hopped into his car, we're sitting at ihop, yeah, were that fucking awsome, talking about something, laughing our asses off. I had to run to the loo, and my phone goes off, when it rings, jared pointed out it sounds like its laughing, but i get a text " I dont like him", so i responded, "i figured that, why not?", quick and fastly i get a text back saying, "he gave a bad vibe in the room, and i was getting fitzy about it" so yeah, not only did my best friend tell me she basically hates my boyfriend, I have to go back into the diner and look at him and try not to cry. (for the past month, my emotions has bascially been on a rollarcoaster from hell) So I was like, um, okay, and she just went on, i dont remember the last few texts, because to be honest, I became agitated and ignored them, but I couldnt tell Jared that hey, my bestie doesnt like you, she just told me, so i watched him, he has this cheesy smile on his face, his green eyes lit up from staring at me. What could she have seen so badly in him in 10 minutes of silence, I dont know, and i guess i'll never know.
It started when Jared and I walked into Elsies, (btw, Jared is my bf) and I spoke to her, and she was SUPER quiet, like bitchy quiet, i knew from the get-go it wasnt going to be pretty, but not like it ended up being. So about 10 minutes of awkward silence, she finally says, 'you look like you need to go home' after telling me to crash there with her to relax, fuck it. So I get slightly frustrated and realized, she wants me to leave because of jared, but I figured that she only wanted Jared to leave because she asked him, did she drive or did both of you drive, and well, if he left, I was leaving too, I didnt want to make him feel super awkward there, ya know? Well, so we left, and he kinda realized I was tense and slightly agitated, so he says, lets go eat. So we dropped my car off at his place, And i hopped into his car, we're sitting at ihop, yeah, were that fucking awsome, talking about something, laughing our asses off. I had to run to the loo, and my phone goes off, when it rings, jared pointed out it sounds like its laughing, but i get a text " I dont like him", so i responded, "i figured that, why not?", quick and fastly i get a text back saying, "he gave a bad vibe in the room, and i was getting fitzy about it" so yeah, not only did my best friend tell me she basically hates my boyfriend, I have to go back into the diner and look at him and try not to cry. (for the past month, my emotions has bascially been on a rollarcoaster from hell) So I was like, um, okay, and she just went on, i dont remember the last few texts, because to be honest, I became agitated and ignored them, but I couldnt tell Jared that hey, my bestie doesnt like you, she just told me, so i watched him, he has this cheesy smile on his face, his green eyes lit up from staring at me. What could she have seen so badly in him in 10 minutes of silence, I dont know, and i guess i'll never know.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Good Morning, Cupcake.
Ah, shit is wonderful. And well, shit is shit. Things have been topsy turnsy for the past week and a half, down to me crying mid week to me smiling my ass off last night. I should be super happy, but still super confused. All I can say is i'm happy I have Jared in my life now :)
Elsie and him have been the only two who would listen to my problems and analyze them with me, instead of saying, gee, that sucks. i fucking love them two :)
But my 4th was wow.
I wake up around 2 in the afternoon, well, friday night, i got stuck in traffic until three in the morning, and mum wanted to keep me up for a crazy talk, go figures, it is my mum we're talking about, but when I woke up, I had a text from jared saying his usual "hello hello?" deal, so i answered it with hey! and he asked what are you doing today, i replied with going to elsies, and so forth, he said, well, can I see you before you go there, please?
For a second, my heart hit my stomach and I thought I was going to throw up. Honestly, I did.
So i said, yeah, at wawa's for slurpees?
Yup.
K, great, see you!
I dropped my puppies off with the kids and headed towards va beach, kinda anxious, I started talking to myself and wondering what would Jared want to talk to me about.
But then Friday night I did send him a text, that spilled that I had the biggest crush on him and that I couldnt stop thinking about him, after I sent it, I felt very stupid.
So, i pulled up in wawa's and waited for him, he pulls up beside me, i'm drowsing off in the car, and knocks at my window. I'm super happy to see him, so i point to my car seat and he gets in and looks at me, and I say what did you want to see me about? as if I didnt kinda figure it out, so he pulls out his cell phone and goes to the message where i confessed to him, and looks at me and says, lets give it a try. And then he gave me a kiss :)
Elsies and Micheals, they went partying, I played DD so i had fun, but not the ultimate 4th fun that everybody usually has.
I didnt really mind though.
After I dropped them off and headed out, I saw jared again and he took me to meet his cousin, who swears i'm the cutest thing alive.
I'm happier than i could ever ask for.
Elsie and him have been the only two who would listen to my problems and analyze them with me, instead of saying, gee, that sucks. i fucking love them two :)
But my 4th was wow.
I wake up around 2 in the afternoon, well, friday night, i got stuck in traffic until three in the morning, and mum wanted to keep me up for a crazy talk, go figures, it is my mum we're talking about, but when I woke up, I had a text from jared saying his usual "hello hello?" deal, so i answered it with hey! and he asked what are you doing today, i replied with going to elsies, and so forth, he said, well, can I see you before you go there, please?
For a second, my heart hit my stomach and I thought I was going to throw up. Honestly, I did.
So i said, yeah, at wawa's for slurpees?
Yup.
K, great, see you!
I dropped my puppies off with the kids and headed towards va beach, kinda anxious, I started talking to myself and wondering what would Jared want to talk to me about.
But then Friday night I did send him a text, that spilled that I had the biggest crush on him and that I couldnt stop thinking about him, after I sent it, I felt very stupid.
So, i pulled up in wawa's and waited for him, he pulls up beside me, i'm drowsing off in the car, and knocks at my window. I'm super happy to see him, so i point to my car seat and he gets in and looks at me, and I say what did you want to see me about? as if I didnt kinda figure it out, so he pulls out his cell phone and goes to the message where i confessed to him, and looks at me and says, lets give it a try. And then he gave me a kiss :)
Elsies and Micheals, they went partying, I played DD so i had fun, but not the ultimate 4th fun that everybody usually has.
I didnt really mind though.
After I dropped them off and headed out, I saw jared again and he took me to meet his cousin, who swears i'm the cutest thing alive.
I'm happier than i could ever ask for.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
confession
1. I've already confessed to you, and we'll talk about it in the morning.
2. I liked you, alot, i dunno why, but I did, and now, I feel like a complete jackass, I really do. I dont see why I wasted my time with hopes of being more than just your friend. Wow, what a stupid girl I was right?
3. You're my best friend, You're also like my fucking sister, we have matching HK tattoos, and I fucking love you. You've been there for me, and I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life.
4. Why do you bother anymore, I kinda feel like yeah, i've became your rebound friend to the max. You never text me anymore to hang out unless Ryans at work or at the Gym. Like this morning, you sent me a text for directions. And I was stupid enough to give them to you, have you not realised that our friendship is basically going down the drain hun? really?
5. I hate you. I somehow have always tried to avoid using those three words towards a person while being dead serious, but, I fucking hate you. You made me miserable for 2 months of my life and now you've up and married a piece of trash, well guess what, con-fucking-graduations
6. You, need to look up the song Sorry my friend by save ferris, I think it says everything it needs to say to you
7. The only reason you find me half attractive, is cos i'm english, gee, my voice is different and that makes me attractive, thanks. asshole.
8. I miss you dad.
2. I liked you, alot, i dunno why, but I did, and now, I feel like a complete jackass, I really do. I dont see why I wasted my time with hopes of being more than just your friend. Wow, what a stupid girl I was right?
3. You're my best friend, You're also like my fucking sister, we have matching HK tattoos, and I fucking love you. You've been there for me, and I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life.
4. Why do you bother anymore, I kinda feel like yeah, i've became your rebound friend to the max. You never text me anymore to hang out unless Ryans at work or at the Gym. Like this morning, you sent me a text for directions. And I was stupid enough to give them to you, have you not realised that our friendship is basically going down the drain hun? really?
5. I hate you. I somehow have always tried to avoid using those three words towards a person while being dead serious, but, I fucking hate you. You made me miserable for 2 months of my life and now you've up and married a piece of trash, well guess what, con-fucking-graduations
6. You, need to look up the song Sorry my friend by save ferris, I think it says everything it needs to say to you
7. The only reason you find me half attractive, is cos i'm english, gee, my voice is different and that makes me attractive, thanks. asshole.
8. I miss you dad.
Friends, Enemies?
Today, at my best friend, elsie, house. I realized, I have no friends besides her. I mean, i've basically been the rebound friend since tenth grade, and how I know that, somebody told me, and sadly enough, that stupid memory from high school is embedded in the back of my head. But basically, to all of my so-called friends, i'm their backup for when things are like eh, (ex. their boyfriend is out of town, their single and lonely, their boyfriend/girlfriend is not available, they need a rebound friend for the time, or they finally get a boyfriend/girlfriend) then its when their totally allowed to ditch me, so they think.
But the car ride home, which I was stuck in a five mile back up..at one in the morning, wtf, i realised, I kinda hate half the people in my life now, i really fucking do. If it wasnt for Elsie, i prolly would have blown my brains out. She's basically the person thats helping me keep my sanity.
I'm really starting to hate my life, i'll try so hard to try and talk to somebody on the phone, or in person, and its like they dont have time for me, but when their shit is going down the dain, who te fuck do they call, and like a jackass, i'm more than happy to talk to them.
I think I just need to take time and start deleting people off my facebook/myspace friend lists, cos i dont think i really that many friends in my life. I only have one, and shes like my sister.
But the car ride home, which I was stuck in a five mile back up..at one in the morning, wtf, i realised, I kinda hate half the people in my life now, i really fucking do. If it wasnt for Elsie, i prolly would have blown my brains out. She's basically the person thats helping me keep my sanity.
I'm really starting to hate my life, i'll try so hard to try and talk to somebody on the phone, or in person, and its like they dont have time for me, but when their shit is going down the dain, who te fuck do they call, and like a jackass, i'm more than happy to talk to them.
I think I just need to take time and start deleting people off my facebook/myspace friend lists, cos i dont think i really that many friends in my life. I only have one, and shes like my sister.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Congrats Bitch, you're crying.
I dunno what makes me want to cling on to things. But I fucking do it anyways.
Have you ever wanted something, but you knew it was totally out of reach, but kinda hung on to it, and when you see its gone you get depressed behind it.
yeah, that kinda happened to me
but it was a person
So basically, i'm giving up. i say fuck it.
Lesbian?
I think so.
I'm starting to feel like i'm wasting a large amount of time bothering with the male species, they all turn out to be greedy motherfuckers. I just cant believe i hung on to one to the point, at five in the morning, i have fucking tear stains on my cheek.
cupcake, your a stupid bitch. you really are.
I wish my best friend lived closer to me, she'd know what to say about this situation.
Am I really supposed to be the unhappy friend? Really?
fuck this
Have you ever wanted something, but you knew it was totally out of reach, but kinda hung on to it, and when you see its gone you get depressed behind it.
yeah, that kinda happened to me
but it was a person
So basically, i'm giving up. i say fuck it.
Lesbian?
I think so.
I'm starting to feel like i'm wasting a large amount of time bothering with the male species, they all turn out to be greedy motherfuckers. I just cant believe i hung on to one to the point, at five in the morning, i have fucking tear stains on my cheek.
cupcake, your a stupid bitch. you really are.
I wish my best friend lived closer to me, she'd know what to say about this situation.
Am I really supposed to be the unhappy friend? Really?
fuck this
Friday, June 26, 2009
Bros before Hoes Bitch!
Lets just say, this week = rough
work drove me crazy, like literally, the people there, somehow, pissed me off to the point i was in the bathroom bawling, but i'm just an emotional wreck at the same time, so I really dunno what to say about that. My family has also driven me up the wall, gee, lets see what has really ruined my week.
Monday: I wake up to the pups has broken out their cage again, shit all over the floor, my back is ruined, therefore i am highly unable to bend over and pick it up, but somehow I do, and my back kills me the whole entire day, can you say fucking beautiful. I make my lunch for work, and somehow, its gone by time I end up trying to take it to work with me, and to make matters worse to the point that it PISSED ME OFF, my 12 year old sister watched me struggle bending over, ate my lunch AND asked for a ride to her girl scout meeting, oh yeah, my family actually loves me, dont they?
Tuesday: I cant really complain much about tuesday, it was a decent day, nobody annoyed me, and I actually had half a smile on my face.
Wednesday: one of those days where you feel like strangling the person next to you, well my right arm is really sore and sensitve lately, and my friend, with a metal object, probes into my arm and then whispers, i have to pee, WELL GOOD FOR FUCKING YOU! Its been lately, like she cant do it herself, ask to pee that is, and then when she goes, shes in the bathroom for the longest fucking time, we've declared shes flicking her bean when shes working, fuck that.
Thursday: It has its mixed emotions in this day, well, for starters, thursday is payday, which means i go and get my paycheck and my weekly errands, well, mum leaves the dogs with me, And joe wanted to spend time with me, which was actually nice. cos i dunno, i kinda like him, well, i wont lie, I DO LIKE HIM! but i dont plan on getting nowhere near attached until i can sense some mutual feelings, but he was nice enough to watch the dogs in my car while i ran into my job and walmart super fast and then we went to the park and played on the swings for a few :) enjoying the simple things in life he told me.
Friday: i fucking wake up around one, like i always do, well kinda late for me cos i actually wanted to go get my car inspected, which i did at 2 and it only took me 15 minutes, i was highly impressed actually, I was in, sat down for like 8 minutes and the guy was like, miss? come here 16, and goodbye, oh yeah, i like that place already, fuck yeah I do. But that wasnt the fuck up of my day, i wake up to find my verizon cell phone is SHUT OFF, mum didnt bother telling me that the phone bill had racked up to a thousand dollars or so, so i woke up to text message galore and unable to reply to any of them, therefore my bestie elsie was starting to think i ditched her, but nope, she found out after i went to tmobile and got a new phone :) i like it, its called the gravity, its kinda cute and has a amazing blue colour, but yeah, i was pissed, cos that means a new cell phone bill for me, but after that, i went to my friends elsie house and played wow and went to ashleys and we played on the wii and then watched role models, omg, i love that movie :) its so cute, no matter how many times you watch it! But i just got home not too long ago, and now its time for me to go to bed to wake up and see what tommorow has in store for me, hopefully joe gets off work early so i can see him, or i'll just have to wait til sunday when he is off work for the whole entire day! :)
And dammit, i still havent seen transformers like i planned on seeing today! I guess i'll see it with joe, but i think he has already seen it too! bleh, i'll find somebody that would want to go with me, if he has already seen it, dont want to bore him through a movie he has already seen!
well toodles,
i guess i'm doing better now, things has started to brighten up for me, and i've grown up alittle, getting my own cell phone bill and everything :)
much lovies!
work drove me crazy, like literally, the people there, somehow, pissed me off to the point i was in the bathroom bawling, but i'm just an emotional wreck at the same time, so I really dunno what to say about that. My family has also driven me up the wall, gee, lets see what has really ruined my week.
Monday: I wake up to the pups has broken out their cage again, shit all over the floor, my back is ruined, therefore i am highly unable to bend over and pick it up, but somehow I do, and my back kills me the whole entire day, can you say fucking beautiful. I make my lunch for work, and somehow, its gone by time I end up trying to take it to work with me, and to make matters worse to the point that it PISSED ME OFF, my 12 year old sister watched me struggle bending over, ate my lunch AND asked for a ride to her girl scout meeting, oh yeah, my family actually loves me, dont they?
Tuesday: I cant really complain much about tuesday, it was a decent day, nobody annoyed me, and I actually had half a smile on my face.
Wednesday: one of those days where you feel like strangling the person next to you, well my right arm is really sore and sensitve lately, and my friend, with a metal object, probes into my arm and then whispers, i have to pee, WELL GOOD FOR FUCKING YOU! Its been lately, like she cant do it herself, ask to pee that is, and then when she goes, shes in the bathroom for the longest fucking time, we've declared shes flicking her bean when shes working, fuck that.
Thursday: It has its mixed emotions in this day, well, for starters, thursday is payday, which means i go and get my paycheck and my weekly errands, well, mum leaves the dogs with me, And joe wanted to spend time with me, which was actually nice. cos i dunno, i kinda like him, well, i wont lie, I DO LIKE HIM! but i dont plan on getting nowhere near attached until i can sense some mutual feelings, but he was nice enough to watch the dogs in my car while i ran into my job and walmart super fast and then we went to the park and played on the swings for a few :) enjoying the simple things in life he told me.
Friday: i fucking wake up around one, like i always do, well kinda late for me cos i actually wanted to go get my car inspected, which i did at 2 and it only took me 15 minutes, i was highly impressed actually, I was in, sat down for like 8 minutes and the guy was like, miss? come here 16, and goodbye, oh yeah, i like that place already, fuck yeah I do. But that wasnt the fuck up of my day, i wake up to find my verizon cell phone is SHUT OFF, mum didnt bother telling me that the phone bill had racked up to a thousand dollars or so, so i woke up to text message galore and unable to reply to any of them, therefore my bestie elsie was starting to think i ditched her, but nope, she found out after i went to tmobile and got a new phone :) i like it, its called the gravity, its kinda cute and has a amazing blue colour, but yeah, i was pissed, cos that means a new cell phone bill for me, but after that, i went to my friends elsie house and played wow and went to ashleys and we played on the wii and then watched role models, omg, i love that movie :) its so cute, no matter how many times you watch it! But i just got home not too long ago, and now its time for me to go to bed to wake up and see what tommorow has in store for me, hopefully joe gets off work early so i can see him, or i'll just have to wait til sunday when he is off work for the whole entire day! :)
And dammit, i still havent seen transformers like i planned on seeing today! I guess i'll see it with joe, but i think he has already seen it too! bleh, i'll find somebody that would want to go with me, if he has already seen it, dont want to bore him through a movie he has already seen!
well toodles,
i guess i'm doing better now, things has started to brighten up for me, and i've grown up alittle, getting my own cell phone bill and everything :)
much lovies!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
well, arent you the cutest mess i've seen
I've been recently thinking..but should I be insulted? Being referred to a chipmunk that is. It was cute when I was little, but now when I look at it.. I kinda wanna start starving myself.. wonderful.
I havent posted a blog in a LONG time, anywhere, not even on myspace, but really, that has gotten pretty old too.
Nothing much really has changed about me though, I'm still that rude bitch you saw in high school :)
but, i do have lots of ranting to catch up on.
1. You, are a close friend of mine, But you also happen to be the dumbest friend of mine too, how i deal with you like this? I havent a fucking clue. But I do feel that its time, being that you just turned 20, to grow up. Meaning, Neekuuh, will not play mummy for you and drive you everywhere..you have a car too, time to put milage on that bitch :)
2. I fell for you, hard. Like a dumbass, and now i regret every single moment of it. I kinda dont know what I saw in you...it was something, but I forgot. And now that I looked at your picture, you looked like a old creepy man, which would reason why mum hated you the moment you walked in the door. Or maybe the fact that you swore you were a juggalo. What a fucking loser.
3. Your getting married, to a guy that you've been in a relationship with for 5 months. I think it's best that you should wait this out, and think about it, for crying out loud..he fucking took sugar scrub and exfoliated his nutsack cos he was bored. Plus he had hisself purposely fired, so he didnt have to work his job anymore. You bust your ass all week long while he sits in the apartment that you're basically paying rent for, drinking beer with his friends.
4. You smelled like cat piss this morning in my car. Actually, scratch that, when I bent over to get my wallet, I smelled the scent of unwashed pussy..and it turned my stomach into pieces, remind me to put a stronger air freshner into my car, i promise, it stank....
5. You're a cute mess, and still for some stupid reason, i still find myself having this crush on you.
6. I wish some people were closer to me :/
7. Some people will never grow up.
I havent posted a blog in a LONG time, anywhere, not even on myspace, but really, that has gotten pretty old too.
Nothing much really has changed about me though, I'm still that rude bitch you saw in high school :)
but, i do have lots of ranting to catch up on.
1. You, are a close friend of mine, But you also happen to be the dumbest friend of mine too, how i deal with you like this? I havent a fucking clue. But I do feel that its time, being that you just turned 20, to grow up. Meaning, Neekuuh, will not play mummy for you and drive you everywhere..you have a car too, time to put milage on that bitch :)
2. I fell for you, hard. Like a dumbass, and now i regret every single moment of it. I kinda dont know what I saw in you...it was something, but I forgot. And now that I looked at your picture, you looked like a old creepy man, which would reason why mum hated you the moment you walked in the door. Or maybe the fact that you swore you were a juggalo. What a fucking loser.
3. Your getting married, to a guy that you've been in a relationship with for 5 months. I think it's best that you should wait this out, and think about it, for crying out loud..he fucking took sugar scrub and exfoliated his nutsack cos he was bored. Plus he had hisself purposely fired, so he didnt have to work his job anymore. You bust your ass all week long while he sits in the apartment that you're basically paying rent for, drinking beer with his friends.
4. You smelled like cat piss this morning in my car. Actually, scratch that, when I bent over to get my wallet, I smelled the scent of unwashed pussy..and it turned my stomach into pieces, remind me to put a stronger air freshner into my car, i promise, it stank....
5. You're a cute mess, and still for some stupid reason, i still find myself having this crush on you.
6. I wish some people were closer to me :/
7. Some people will never grow up.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
outside
its 3 in the morning and outside of my window is this pattering of rain slapping at my window. And i'm sitting here in a dead gaze at my computer screen as i ponder about all of the things that has occured in my life. I'm 18 and expecting a child in december, as if my life could get any worse, the father of my child, cant do the confrontation with me alone, and has to bring his parents along. I also found out that he basically used me until he could get with the girl he has been waiting, as he says 5 years to be with. But whatever. Tommorow, I go over there to have this talk with them and see how they react to everything, my plan though? possibly just keep him out of the babies life, as cruel as it sounds, he cant keep something for more than a month without getting bored with it, ie. girls. which pretty much says that after a month, he wont want to be a father again, congrats girly, thats the kinda guy you got knocked up by. But for most part, everything else is going decent, just that one 'bump' in my life. haha, i mean not a funny deal, but, i have a slight baby bump going on. and no, you cant fucking rub it. The rain has stopped now, but i know it will be back in a few.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
confrontation is a bitch
So, pretty much, disregard the last blog, well the part where i'm in love. I had my heart broken today, pretty much ripped right out of my fucking chest, as if whatever, your feelings mean nothing to me. I havent been able to smile or eat since I was dumped. And the reason i'm sitting here unable to think, is because after he dumped me, he deleted everything. And somehow makes me feel like its all my fault. I dont care, I fucking hate men.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Long Time No Speak
Wow. Its been a long time since i've been here, but sooooo many things to update about! TONS! Well lets see, hmm, an amazing relationship, yes yes yes! i've said that too many times before but this time, hehe, its reallllll, (dont mind me and my ooey gooey talk xD) just super happy to finally have things right where i've wanted them. work! ugh, pretty much has been killing me! And as for people wise, i've been totally ready to just become a total hermit crab, and drag frank along with me of course hehe. Maybe its the fact that I feel like im the only one thats actually mature at work, or either, i'm the only one has a stick up my ass....I highly doubt I have a stick in my ass, I promise! Just can become quite frustrating when youre sitting at a lunch table with a 42 year old male, 19,21 year old females, and me, a 18 year old baby. yup...i'm just the baby at work. But the 42 year old man, pretty much thinking with his balls...well whatever of them he has left, obviously hasnt gotten laid since the ninties...still lives with his mummy. And he's not even taking care of her, how depressing... Just how he talks about women i could strangle the fuck out of him. "Know your role missy", everytime I hear him say that, or better yet, when he says that to me, I feel like taking my right fist and shoving it down his goddamn throat, and then he'll know who to tell to know their role. And his opinions, are old. when something about gay rights pop up on the telly at work in the break room, he squeals out about the "fags", uh okay, yes, their gay, congrats, you can notice things.
OIII!! I cant stand when people think that the world is still in black and white, its quite colorful.
And hardcore christians, whenever you see a rainbow and think 'eww, gay people' remember, your precious god made that rainbow.
Oooh, yes, I was watching the news and miss cali, or whoever the fuck she is, was talking about how her answer had her crown taken away..boo-fucking-hoo. I cant say that I'm frustrated that she spoke her mind, its the fact that she fucked the whole sentence up. She says shes for gay rights..well marriage would happen to be part of those gay rights! If a man and man or a woman and woman cant get married, then neither should a man and woman, thats how i feel about it. Its just like gays have became a whole different race in the world.
And more things to frustrate me, how men stare at women. I'm sorry, but we're not objects, we're fucking human! we have arms, legs, brains! We can think for ourselves! But we also have this thing, you guys might not give much of a damn about it, but its called FEELINGS. Sitting at work today, grumbling about how this girl was crying on a politics station about her crown, A guy turned around at me and said, oh hush, dont be jealous, shes pretty. Oh whoopty-fucking-doo. Shes pretty, and is that all you see on her, and I promise you, almost every guy in that fucking break room turned around and nodded their heads. How can men only see the outside of a female. HOW!? I do understand attraction is part of a relationship in a sort, but not 100% physical! i wish guys could be us for one fucking week, and at best, make it the worst fucking week of the month, maybe they'll appreciate us a little more than what they do.
ughhh!
okay, time for nappypoo time :D
OIII!! I cant stand when people think that the world is still in black and white, its quite colorful.
And hardcore christians, whenever you see a rainbow and think 'eww, gay people' remember, your precious god made that rainbow.
Oooh, yes, I was watching the news and miss cali, or whoever the fuck she is, was talking about how her answer had her crown taken away..boo-fucking-hoo. I cant say that I'm frustrated that she spoke her mind, its the fact that she fucked the whole sentence up. She says shes for gay rights..well marriage would happen to be part of those gay rights! If a man and man or a woman and woman cant get married, then neither should a man and woman, thats how i feel about it. Its just like gays have became a whole different race in the world.
And more things to frustrate me, how men stare at women. I'm sorry, but we're not objects, we're fucking human! we have arms, legs, brains! We can think for ourselves! But we also have this thing, you guys might not give much of a damn about it, but its called FEELINGS. Sitting at work today, grumbling about how this girl was crying on a politics station about her crown, A guy turned around at me and said, oh hush, dont be jealous, shes pretty. Oh whoopty-fucking-doo. Shes pretty, and is that all you see on her, and I promise you, almost every guy in that fucking break room turned around and nodded their heads. How can men only see the outside of a female. HOW!? I do understand attraction is part of a relationship in a sort, but not 100% physical! i wish guys could be us for one fucking week, and at best, make it the worst fucking week of the month, maybe they'll appreciate us a little more than what they do.
ughhh!
okay, time for nappypoo time :D
Monday, February 2, 2009
superbowl, fags, jolly
All three, associated with last night
superbowl: super bowl sunday, duh, i didnt know a damn thing about this sport, but i went to the event anyways. It made my boyfriend happy, and i met tons of new friends :D
fags: I smoked the first fag for 2 months now, it felt great, i was quite stumbly tho, cos i was drinkin pretty heavy after i kept being so damn shy :/
but i broke out my little shell
jolly: :D enough said.
superbowl: super bowl sunday, duh, i didnt know a damn thing about this sport, but i went to the event anyways. It made my boyfriend happy, and i met tons of new friends :D
fags: I smoked the first fag for 2 months now, it felt great, i was quite stumbly tho, cos i was drinkin pretty heavy after i kept being so damn shy :/
but i broke out my little shell
jolly: :D enough said.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
the sunday news repulses me
it changes to fucking much.
I've been lacking sleep for the past few days, yet its not bothering me. I've started smoking fags again, its helping me. My hair is curling back up, its entertaining me.
Stephan, i'm not gay, bi, or uh, associated with females.
The man who made the loo, last name was crapper. nice.
i've been at lack of words for a while
I've been lacking sleep for the past few days, yet its not bothering me. I've started smoking fags again, its helping me. My hair is curling back up, its entertaining me.
Stephan, i'm not gay, bi, or uh, associated with females.
The man who made the loo, last name was crapper. nice.
i've been at lack of words for a while
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Latest Addiction?
RAINBOW SANDALS!?!?!
I have lately been obsessing over my rainbow sandals, sure I dont spend much money on my flip flops but I have heard so many reviews over these sandals and I though I need to invest in them! So i saved up 45 dollars and purchased a pair of them. Their amazingly soft and my feet have already broken into them! I think you should invest in a pair too!!!!!
MetroMint Water!
I am soo addicted to this stuff, I was picking and packing through a magazing in the grocery store and they were raving about this amazing water, and when I picked up a few bottles from Trader Joes and was amazed, and now whenever I find this amazing water, I get it asap!
Fuze banana colada!
aagghhh! i was trampling through wal-mart last friday and found this amazing drink, its quite a deal for only 1.25! I picked up quite a stash up of it, and now my friends are hooked to it too! AHHHHH!! amazing juice :]
Lip Gloss??
I usually dont like make up but lately since my job, you pretty much should wear makeup if you dont want ruin skin. And lately this cover girl lipgloss have been a must have in my life!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
manist? feminist?
My dear friend Stephan, last night, decided that if there is Feminism, there should be Maninism.
Manisim = getting mens rights.
In America, Feminists have gone way to far. Complaing for rights they already have, wanting more more more more, equality. Women in America have all the equality they could ever want. Its just how they use it. Now feminisim in America can only be focused on one thing, how woment are treated by men as an object. But at the same time, they cannot focus on that either, because its Woment here that are making women feel bad about theirselves, not men or media!
Telling a woman, "gee i love your thighs, i would kill to have thighs like yours" is pretty much making women an object, babies, YOU HAVE BRAINS! Stop changing yourself so damn much! Women love who you are! LOVE YOURSELVES! Stop changing for men! STOP IT! And at the same time, stop degrading men so much here. Men are actually losing more rights while you women in America are gaining rights.
Sure media force young women to believe that they need to be stick thin with a full chest. WRONG. But media also make it seem as if all men are dickheads that play videogames and barely know anything but hustler and playboy. WRONG. Ever thought about holding a full conversation that didnt involve sex? you actually might to get to know a guy. Sure sex might seem like a large priority on their minds, its not really all thats on their minds. They read, they think. THEY HAVE BRAINS TOO! They just dont have a dick to fuck eat and sleep. So if Feminists in America want equality, how about letting men have some of their rights back? maybe even letting them see their kids. Thats the reason most of america think men make dead beat dads, BECAUSE OF THE WOMEN HERE THAT TAKE THE KIDS FROM THEM! Now in America the only way a man will have even half custody of his children, is if his ex/spouse is a crack addict, a whore, a prostitute, jailed, on probation, or any other wrong doing.
Which in my opinion, is completely unfair, completely unfair in all ways.
Rights females have from Feminisim in America:
-equal pay
-voting rights
-the ability to leave the 50's housewife postion
-better jobs
-the fucking ability to get a check at all!
-more rights than they even appreciate
Statments made to men from Feminism:
-Their deadbeat assholes who only want women in the kitchen, wrong, i've met a few who love cooking for the dear
-They only fuck, eat, sleep, wrong, i've actually talked to plenty of men who can hold a conversation
-They make deadbeat dads, uh, wrong AGAIN, to be honest, i see more men that make better parents than most mums ( i love you dearly mum, no insult )
-They dont appreciate women for the brain, only looks, wrong, i mean if you do run into a guy who is hollow skulled, then maybe, but 99.5 of men, actually appreciate the idea of a girl who has a brain, and not a nice set of tits
-They constantly call women sluts, whores, bitches, well yes, they do call women that, but you know why.
BECAUSE YOU LET THEM. Do you know how to avoid that, say No. ever thought of that? women have the right to say no. no. no. no.
-Men are constantly raping women. hah hah. fucking hah. i have to say, that in a article, its shown that women actually are more likely to rape a man, but in america, they wont post that in the paper, because your good old american feminist might piss her pants!
In America, Feminisim is a fancy term for bitching and fucking complaining
If American Feminists would like to make points, how about trying to help the ladies in other countries who are killed for showing their faces, have their hair shaved off for speaking out of line, beaten if they do not bleed after sex when they are married.
Ever thought about that?
didnt think so.
Manisim = getting mens rights.
In America, Feminists have gone way to far. Complaing for rights they already have, wanting more more more more, equality. Women in America have all the equality they could ever want. Its just how they use it. Now feminisim in America can only be focused on one thing, how woment are treated by men as an object. But at the same time, they cannot focus on that either, because its Woment here that are making women feel bad about theirselves, not men or media!
Telling a woman, "gee i love your thighs, i would kill to have thighs like yours" is pretty much making women an object, babies, YOU HAVE BRAINS! Stop changing yourself so damn much! Women love who you are! LOVE YOURSELVES! Stop changing for men! STOP IT! And at the same time, stop degrading men so much here. Men are actually losing more rights while you women in America are gaining rights.
Sure media force young women to believe that they need to be stick thin with a full chest. WRONG. But media also make it seem as if all men are dickheads that play videogames and barely know anything but hustler and playboy. WRONG. Ever thought about holding a full conversation that didnt involve sex? you actually might to get to know a guy. Sure sex might seem like a large priority on their minds, its not really all thats on their minds. They read, they think. THEY HAVE BRAINS TOO! They just dont have a dick to fuck eat and sleep. So if Feminists in America want equality, how about letting men have some of their rights back? maybe even letting them see their kids. Thats the reason most of america think men make dead beat dads, BECAUSE OF THE WOMEN HERE THAT TAKE THE KIDS FROM THEM! Now in America the only way a man will have even half custody of his children, is if his ex/spouse is a crack addict, a whore, a prostitute, jailed, on probation, or any other wrong doing.
Which in my opinion, is completely unfair, completely unfair in all ways.
Rights females have from Feminisim in America:
-equal pay
-voting rights
-the ability to leave the 50's housewife postion
-better jobs
-the fucking ability to get a check at all!
-more rights than they even appreciate
Statments made to men from Feminism:
-Their deadbeat assholes who only want women in the kitchen, wrong, i've met a few who love cooking for the dear
-They only fuck, eat, sleep, wrong, i've actually talked to plenty of men who can hold a conversation
-They make deadbeat dads, uh, wrong AGAIN, to be honest, i see more men that make better parents than most mums ( i love you dearly mum, no insult )
-They dont appreciate women for the brain, only looks, wrong, i mean if you do run into a guy who is hollow skulled, then maybe, but 99.5 of men, actually appreciate the idea of a girl who has a brain, and not a nice set of tits
-They constantly call women sluts, whores, bitches, well yes, they do call women that, but you know why.
BECAUSE YOU LET THEM. Do you know how to avoid that, say No. ever thought of that? women have the right to say no. no. no. no.
-Men are constantly raping women. hah hah. fucking hah. i have to say, that in a article, its shown that women actually are more likely to rape a man, but in america, they wont post that in the paper, because your good old american feminist might piss her pants!
In America, Feminisim is a fancy term for bitching and fucking complaining
If American Feminists would like to make points, how about trying to help the ladies in other countries who are killed for showing their faces, have their hair shaved off for speaking out of line, beaten if they do not bleed after sex when they are married.
Ever thought about that?
didnt think so.
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